A loser will not be seen.
Loser meant not fated.
I wish I would be seen
But I know I'm not and I will never be.
Loser, am I?
What I want is just one glance from you
and I will be extremely satisfied.
I'm trying to remove all obstacles to go to you
and I just need you to know I am always there for you.
I think I'm crazy.
It's about 5am now and I cannot sleep.
I am now listening to Jay Chou - 给我一首歌的时间
I miss and I yearn to go back to the beautiful past I had.
though they were so short until that I hardly could remember all
but I always believe they will be back or someone may subsidies them.
A friend used to ask me "if you already promised your friends to go Batam
and a few days before you set off
you get to go USA with your family for free
and it's on the same day when you promised to go Batam
which one would you choose?"
Well, I chose Batam.
My friend asked me why
I said because going Batam is a promise
I cannot break my promise.
If I still live in the beautiful past,
I would have choose to go USA
because it's free.
But luck don't fall onto me
what I been through in the past
tells me that promise is important
you never know when is the last promise you can fulfill to your friends
Maybe next minute you can't see them
Maybe next hour you regret not to go with them
Maybe next day you forget them
I always remember that day…
I think it was a rainy day.
She's leaving me anytime
and she still bring me to a mall nearby my house
she said "I don't feel well" with a pale face
I kept quiet
she said "I promised you to bring you out today, I cannot break my promise" she coughed.
A few days later,
she left and I never get the chance to see her again in my life.
She taught me not to break any promise I made.
She taught me to cherish
I miss you.
I'm so afraid that one day I will forget how you look like.
I tried many ways to recall our memories.
but I still scared.
teach me, how can I not forget you?
please teach me…
The more people and things enter my life
the lesser I could remember you.
You know how I feeling right now?
How can you just left us like that?
I don't hate you
I blame myself
I have thing not yet tell you
I not yet tell you that I'm sorry.
I have not told you "I am sorry"
I not yet tell you…
not yet tell you…
not yet tell that…
I am sorry…
That day I went to the columbarium alone
I miss you so much so much…
I yearned to tell you the untold sentence
I regretted to believe you will not leave us
I regretted I don't know to cherish you
当你拥有他们时，觉得都是里所当然
可能还觉得他们很烦很吵
可是人往往等到失去了才懂得珍惜
太迟了，那人可能不在你身边了
I've lost one
and I learned to cherish the love ones I left
Previously, I had a boyfriend who always break promises
he never fulfil any of his promises he made to me
I would think of this woman I love most
and I tried to tell him how important a promise is to me
but he always thinks that I want a quarrel
and we dropped this topic
repeatedly, this thing happened for continuous 8 months
The last promise he made was
"Don't worry, I will keep you by my side no matter what my mum said"
I was happy at first
then, I received a sms a minute after "sorry, I am so stress. I cannot stand her. Let's end it."
Break promises after promises…
even keeping me by his side is so hard for him
I give up.
I told him I got another guy.
Let me be a bitch once
Even though it is a lie
I just want to stop you from entering my life again.
I need to talk to someone.
I know I need to tell someone about my things.
Who can I tell?
I don't know
Everyone seems so busy with their things
I only will give them burden
Even if I tell
who would remember it?
as well don't say right?
I need a warm and lasting hand to hold on…
I am not the girl you see in your eyes.
The stronger you are on the surface,
the weaker you are in your inner.
Oh My Tian!
Today I met one "roti prata" bus driver who is super duper RUDE!
the bus was so crowded la
Although I was listening to my mp3
but I can clearly hear the bus driver scolded me
"Your bag don't touch me!"
OMG! You think I want?! aRRghs!
I pay high price on transportation and yet received such a lousy attitude.
BUS PLATE 8277. BUS NUMBER 86.
This driver super duper rude.
If there is a next time, I will lodge a complaint already.
I really cannot tolerate rudeness especially when your duties are to serve customers/passengers.
Hmmm…
I am trying to clear up things that he gave me in my room
I realised…
I have 2 small pouches to clear only
and nothing else.
Don't stay when someone you love don't love you anymore.
Although my heart is utterly hurt
but I placed the love and memories deep down in my heart and will never bring it out again.
And…
I know your heart moved for a few minutes or seconds
you said that today you took off and wanted to go out with me
stop your lie
you have no schedule for work today!
You seemed to forget why I know so many of your things without you telling me.
Never mind, you will took it as I am scaring you but I'm not.
I'm sure that you are in the lan shop playing your DOTA during your off days
"DOTA is my life!"
isn't what you always told me and keep reminding me about?
In the past, you sacrificed me for your DOTA games
and sacrificed me to meet your friends whom you can see them every day.
Oh ya, and your recent new love
The PSP
Yes, I am ill-speaking about you to the world.
You are certainly a bad choice in many ways.
Say me heartless
Say me cruel
Say me ruthless
Say me cold-blooded
Say me stubborn
Yes, I am when you certainly said "Ya, my feeling faded for you"
I won't hesitant to let go
There are 4 essential things in this world that cannot be broken. They are Promise, Trust, Heart and Relation. Once they are broken, they don't make noise but PAIN a lot. And maybe cause other party to react.
To you, they are just nothing.
But I take them seriously.
I was sitting at the bus stop waiting for my bus 86.
I was listening to my mp3 and…
then, I wanted to check the time and I realised...
I was not wearing the couple watch of ours.
I threw it away yesterday.
Cruelly, heartlessly threw it away.
I rushed home and tried to find back the watch
it wasn't inside my bin anymore…
my dad had replaced a new plastic bag this morning.
Today, supposed to be our 9th month
as usual, every month of this day, it rains.
I feel so weak now.
I don't feel like going home already
every corner of my house have traces of his shadow
especially my room…
I hate it so much now.
The hardest thing to me is to smile now…
the more I try to be happy the more I feel like crying.
Why is this happening to me?
I don't feel like going to school today
I don't want to face my friends
I don't want to talk
I don't want to smile
I don't want anyone to know anything
I don't want anyone to console me
being consoled make me feel so weak…
I just want to be alone
When he was in trouble,
I stand up for him.
When he need me,
I always be there for him.
When all his friends left him,
I accompanied him.
When everyone in this world think he is lying,
I choose to believe him.
When he say he want me,
I will never leave.
When he say he don't need me,
I will not stay.
The day that you gave up me for your mother I knew that's the end of us.
As luck doesn't fall onto you, something you needed most left you few days later.
You told me your life turned black, ruined and you left nothing.
I came back for you
I hold you
I accompanied you
I bring you out of your darkest period
Now, you got back almost everything
and you don't need me anymore.
You said I never auto message you
For once you told me "don't need to contact me. I will contact you when I done with my things"
that's the reason I didn't message you.
In addition,
I know you don't love me anymore.
When two people are in love,
you can feel whether he/she is with you.
This is another reason that I never message you.
Hardest thing to do when you are sad is to smile.
It is a will to hide yourself.
Less than 7hours
and I miss everything so much.
I wonder if he also thinks the same way.
I don't think so, uh.
I shouldn't felt like this
or shouldn't act this way.
There goes this phrase again,
time heals everything…
My heart is aching every minute, every second.
I feel like talking to someone
but I don't know who to talk to and don't what to talk about.
Hmmm… never mind.
I go lie on bed
maybe will make me feel better.
Don't feel like replying any sms or answering any calls tonight.
Why fortune-teller can see everything?
Again, this year, she was right.
One month is up and I know what I want.
No, is not what I want.
It tells me the result instead of me deciding.
Ting once said keeps yourself happy and keep smiling when you are sad is a skill and knowledge.
Ironically, the sadness will last longer.
I endured and controlled my tears from dropping for about 3 hours.
It was a horribly torture to me.
I was on my way home taking bus 86,
memories flew through my mind;
him and I quarrelling at the most front seats.
Then the bus went pass Mad Jack,
I remembered him promised me to bring me there.
Not only today, every day I take the bus and it went pass Mad Jack it reminds me of those memories.
我说好的幸福
在不知不觉之中，
输给了缘分
It was fated to let me met the fortune-teller.
It was fated to let go.
认命吧
都注定好了
不是吗？
多么的不舍得
多么的不开心
多么的伤心
哭再多也没有用
没有了就是没有了
笑一个！
You can have me if…
