Friday, December 5, 2008

Our number 4…

I was sitting at the bus stop waiting for my bus 86.
I was listening to my mp3 and…
then, I wanted to check the time and I realised...
I was not wearing the couple watch of ours.
I threw it away yesterday.
Cruelly, heartlessly threw it away.

I rushed home and tried to find back the watch
it wasn't inside my bin anymore…
my dad had replaced a new plastic bag this morning.

Today, supposed to be our 9th month
as usual, every month of this day, it rains.

I feel so weak now.

I don't feel like going home already
every corner of my house have traces of his shadow
especially my room…
I hate it so much now.

The hardest thing to me is to smile now…
the more I try to be happy the more I feel like crying.
Why is this happening to me?

I don't feel like going to school today
I don't want to face my friends
I don't want to talk
I don't want to smile
I don't want anyone to know anything
I don't want anyone to console me
being consoled make me feel so weak…
I just want to be alone

When he was in trouble,
I stand up for him.
When he need me,
I always be there for him.
When all his friends left him,
I accompanied him.
When everyone in this world think he is lying,
I choose to believe him.
When he say he want me,
I will never leave.
When he say he don't need me,
I will not stay.

The day that you gave up me for your mother I knew that's the end of us.
As luck doesn't fall onto you, something you needed most left you few days later.
You told me your life turned black, ruined and you left nothing.
I came back for you
I hold you
I accompanied you
I bring you out of your darkest period

Now, you got back almost everything
and you don't need me anymore.

You said I never auto message you
For once you told me "don't need to contact me. I will contact you when I done with my things"
that's the reason I didn't message you.

In addition,
I know you don't love me anymore.
When two people are in love,
you can feel whether he/she is with you.
This is another reason that I never message you.

Hardest thing to do when you are sad is to smile.

It is a will to hide yourself.

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