Each time I read the blog the feeling never change… it still makes me feel… HURT, SUCKS, FUCK OFF and LUCKLESS. It had been about 3 months already, the feeling still so strong and like never disappears before. I always thought I can buck up and do it better but it seems so hard. I’m challenging myself? Or I just want to show that I can? Or am I don’t want to let go?
The mistake he made never erase or fade off my mind. It was a disastrous nightmare. A nightmare which is seems repeatedly appearing in my dreams. Though the stormy days had over but it has turn cloudy only. When can I see the Sun? My heart and mind doesn’t tally. I want to BELIEVE. But my mind dominant the belief and make me think the other way.
I’m so scared. I’m afraid to go through it again. And the fear… makes me so weak to fight.
Hmmm… what to do?
I’m falling deeper each day. Who/what can save me?
Trust myself? Or trust my eyes? Or trust my feeling? Or trust him?
Frankly speaking, I’m lost.
The mistake he made never erase or fade off my mind. It was a disastrous nightmare. A nightmare which is seems repeatedly appearing in my dreams. Though the stormy days had over but it has turn cloudy only. When can I see the Sun? My heart and mind doesn’t tally. I want to BELIEVE. But my mind dominant the belief and make me think the other way.
I’m so scared. I’m afraid to go through it again. And the fear… makes me so weak to fight.
Hmmm… what to do?
I’m falling deeper each day. Who/what can save me?
Trust myself? Or trust my eyes? Or trust my feeling? Or trust him?
Frankly speaking, I’m lost.
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