The Promise

It's about 5am now and I cannot sleep.
I am now listening to Jay Chou - 给我一首歌的时间

I miss and I yearn to go back to the beautiful past I had.
though they were so short until that I hardly could remember all
but I always believe they will be back or someone may subsidies them.

A friend used to ask me "if you already promised your friends to go Batam
and a few days before you set off
you get to go USA with your family for free
and it's on the same day when you promised to go Batam
which one would you choose?"

Well, I chose Batam.
My friend asked me why
I said because going Batam is a promise
I cannot break my promise.

If I still live in the beautiful past,
I would have choose to go USA
because it's free.

But luck don't fall onto me
what I been through in the past
tells me that promise is important
you never know when is the last promise you can fulfill to your friends

Maybe next minute you can't see them
Maybe next hour you regret not to go with them
Maybe next day you forget them

I always remember that day…
I think it was a rainy day.
She's leaving me anytime
and she still bring me to a mall nearby my house
she said "I don't feel well" with a pale face
I kept quiet
she said "I promised you to bring you out today, I cannot break my promise" she coughed.
A few days later,
she left and I never get the chance to see her again in my life.

She taught me not to break any promise I made.
She taught me to cherish

I miss you.
I'm so afraid that one day I will forget how you look like.
I tried many ways to recall our memories.
but I still scared.
teach me, how can I not forget you?
please teach me…

The more people and things enter my life
the lesser I could remember you.
You know how I feeling right now?
How can you just left us like that?
I don't hate you
I blame myself

I have thing not yet tell you
I not yet tell you that I'm sorry.
I have not told you "I am sorry"
I not yet tell you…
not yet tell you…
not yet tell that…
I am sorry…

That day I went to the columbarium alone
I miss you so much so much…
I yearned to tell you the untold sentence
I regretted to believe you will not leave us
I regretted I don't know to cherish you

当你拥有他们时，觉得都是里所当然
可能还觉得他们很烦很吵
可是人往往等到失去了才懂得珍惜
太迟了，那人可能不在你身边了

I've lost one
and I learned to cherish the love ones I left

Previously, I had a boyfriend who always break promises
he never fulfil any of his promises he made to me
I would think of this woman I love most
and I tried to tell him how important a promise is to me
but he always thinks that I want a quarrel
and we dropped this topic
repeatedly, this thing happened for continuous 8 months

The last promise he made was
"Don't worry, I will keep you by my side no matter what my mum said"
I was happy at first
then, I received a sms a minute after "sorry, I am so stress. I cannot stand her. Let's end it."

Break promises after promises…
even keeping me by his side is so hard for him
I give up.

I told him I got another guy.
Let me be a bitch once
Even though it is a lie
I just want to stop you from entering my life again.

I need to talk to someone.
I know I need to tell someone about my things.
Who can I tell?
I don't know
Everyone seems so busy with their things
I only will give them burden

Even if I tell
who would remember it?
as well don't say right?

I need a warm and lasting hand to hold on…

I am not the girl you see in your eyes.
The stronger you are on the surface,
the weaker you are in your inner.