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Dear friends,

I have moved my blog but this blog will not be deleted.
If you are interested, please ask me for the link.

With love,
Ally

Another diagnosis

This time was from my family doctor. The illness will follow me forever… due to my half impaired ear was infected by airborne virus.

Luckily it is not any harmful cell growing in my brain. Thank god. I was so worried for the past few days.

Shall go temple pray one day~ long time never pray le…

 

Our time spending together getting lesser… from everyday to thrice a week to twice a week to once a week to a few minutes a week… gosh… why why why…

In the morning, I felt so giddy and no energy to drag myself out from my bed yet I can't get through my dad as his phone was spoiled. I contacted other 3 people and luckily Elicia woke up, replied and she's free. She meet me at my house and accompanied me to doctor. Initially wanted to go to my family doctor but there was no cab available. So we headed to my auntie's clinic.

I got a diagnose from doctor saying that I suffered from inner ear imbalance… which caused by a virus and infected my ear. That's why I fainted 2 times in a day~ need to rest more and do work at slower pace… if not recover need to go a brain scan. Gosh. I have no time to do slowly man… I have so many things to do yet so little time and now still need to do at a slower pace… dots. Sounded so serious but I think not that serious la. Hope I can get well tomorrow! I want my Christmas Ave and Christmas!!!

Thank you, Elicia. ♥

It's not wrong to give it all for love; it's not wrong to love a person so much. Sometimes, the only thing wrong is the person you chose to love…

I don't know what keeps me persevere on when we know something is wrong and we can't make it feel right. We don't want to give up. Please save us. Please make his life better. Minimise all obstacles for him. Improve my immature brain.

I don't want/need any comments. Just let my mind settled by itself. I'll be better if I could analyse it myself as I am the only person who knows the situation best.

Moral support is what I needed most.

Left my Japanese test and PROJECTS to term break!

I am too overloaded that I actually forgot when my project mates are meeting… OMG. Faint.

I have no time to bother about my personal life. Such as her arrival and r/s... hmmm… not forgetting I have many issues unsolved. Though we are one but not like before. Because we are all stress about work? Or just tired of…? I don't want to care so much anymore. When times come, the answer will reveal itself… tired of being initiative for now. I just want to concentrate on my projects now. Other things? SHOO~!

I am going to change my blog url as soon as I'm free to make a new one. I want to lead a new life. This blog filled too much of my sorrows which I will never want to read back. I want & need a change.

♥
I have it in reality but I don't feel like I'm in it.

人性很丑陋

I thought this time will be different but not…

I'm really tired.

Tired of taking all those attitudes. Tired of acting like an idiot. Tired of listening your negative comments on me. If I am that bad, why still together? You are not that good either.

PHOBIA
IRRITATING
ANNOYING

All these words came out from your mouth! Why are we still together if you think that way?

You never know how hurt I am when I heard those words from you. Please put yourself in my shoe.

When I need entertainments to relax myself; my friends keep me company but you.

When I crave for some food; my friends will try their best to buy me the food but you.

When I want to go to some place(s); my friends will try their best to accompany me there but you.

When I am stressed about my work; my friends gave me their support and encouragements but you.

When I feel troubled; my friends unconditionally lend me their listening ears and time but you.

When I need company; my friends never leave me alone but...

 

Sometimes, I don't know whether I am in it and I don't know why I am doing all that to someone who doesn't really response.

My heart is tired.

I have no mood for anything for today… in fact the entire sucky November 2009. Worse month in 2009.

I don't like seeing people separating… it involve a lot of emotions and need very long time to recover… bless them and myself.

I have not started my revision on Supply Chain and not done all my tutorials… I feel so shit now… I have been trying to ask people out since weekdays but everyone is so busy with their personal life.

And "some idiot" can just throw girlfriend at home and enjoy the whole weekend himself. Perhaps, he is showing some dissatisfaction but still… 女朋友是来疼的，不是花瓶或傀儡！心情不好不要对她发脾气或给脸色，臭人！

All men are the same regardless of age.

What will you do when you feel moody?
Will you ignore your love ones who always care for you?

I already have one. I don't need another one. It will only further irritate me, seriously.

Somebody once said, talks things out, clear all your doubts, sharing, understanding and communicate are essential… it's easy to say it but it is hard to do. In my opinion, since you know the theory, you must prove it that it is workable rather than just a theory. Then, what's the point of knowing the theory when you don't use it?!

"Jun Zi Yi Yan, Si Ma Nan Zhui"

Well, nowadays people especially men, just plainly talk without action. I have seen it many times.

I guess it's time for a heart to heart talk. Though I can predict the outcome but I really don't wish to waste my time.

I am going for reality not a dream.

Family always gives me the strongest and greatest support. They will always with me no matter what happens and my beloved friends too.

Update.

Feel like setting my blog into private blog but… I have my own reason(s) for not doing so.

I just passed my FTT last Friday and I will get my PDL tomorrow if time allows. I really want get my driving license as soon as possible so that I can relax a little and fully concentrate on studies.

This semester will be a disaster for me. The tests today made my heart sunk to the bottom already. Sadded. And both papers carry 15% each. Wah lao~ emo to max. ARRRGHS! Never in my poly life have I felt like that before. Sigh. I don't wish to waste my effort during TEP!

And I think I need to seek a doctor for my face. Gosh~ it's getting worse. Hate my weak and sensitive skin! So itchy~

You can be very good in helping to solve and giving advises to others whenever they encounter problems but you can never solve your own problems.

For instance, a doctor can never treat himself/herself.

There will always a need to involve a 3^rd party to provide some guides you.

怕怕~！

2 days to go…

Out of so many people why choose me?! Sigh.

Talk to a group of less than 60 people, I'm alright. But talk to a big group of 100-200 over people, I'm very scared and nervous.

 

我的出体验即将来临！

I WANT TO JOIN!

OMG… There was a Flash Mob at Raffles Place ytd afternoon…!

I so wannnnnna join the group!

拼了命也要忍着的心。。。

再多的想念，多么的想拥有，都要压抑着

一分一毫的贪念都不能存在

时时刻刻都要为你着想，都要妥协

我的努力与用心，我希望你能看到，感受到。。。

装着什么都不知道就不会去想也不会太在意了。。。。。。

SIGH~

Reports presentations report presentations report presentations… AGAIN!

Actually I'm alright with reports and presentations now.

I'm troubled over…

Why they aren't given a second chance? They are important to me. What I am today, they involve more than anyone else except my family.

Strangers are given a second chance. But why they aren't? Because they are my friends so have to be stricter? No…

I changed my style of living to compromise… I don't know if anyone notices…

There's a scar on me, a scar that appears suddenly since don't know when… A friend told me that mean compromise… when everything is solved/balanced off, the scar will fade away… but it had been almost more than a month and the scar is still so obvious… I'm seeing it every day.

I'm stressed.

Every time when I see that scar, I have the urge to be rebellious but I controlled.

Everything seems so different.